Drivetime in Dorkland

Dear Auckland Driver

I see you there alongside me, neck and neck, window to window. Oh, is that your indicator? You want to change into my lane? Like, right now? And how would you like to accomplish that, good sir? Your choices seem to be:

a) smash side-on into me
b) I slam on my brakes for your convenience, or
c) I disappear in a puff of smoke – also for your convenience.

How about d) Sod off Noddy? D seems pretty damn good for me YOU FECKING GOBSHITE!

Ahem *resettles feathers*

Yes, certainly you can edge perilously closer and closer, but I’m not going anywhere. Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Why? Because it’s frightfully bad manners to shove people out of your way, that’s why. Also, dangerous. I suggest you learn the do’s and don’ts of motorway lane changing. Also, don’t be a toad – share the road. (That could be a t-shirt, that could)

Sincerely
Me

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